12/23/2009

How to Be a Leader

There are leaders and there are followers, and a person is not necessarily born a leader.

To become a leader, the first step is to have good decision making skills - not something you are born with but rather taught at a young age. Your parents probably taught you the difference between right from wrong and that there are consequences for certain actions.

If you make mistakes, don’t pass the blame to others. If you make a mistake, admit it. Learn from it so you don’t commit the same mistake again.

Apart from making mistakes, good leaders should also be able to recognize their shortcomings. We all have some and the people we work with sometimes are too afraid, or polite to tell s what they are. If you want to know what your shortcomings may be, you have to allow your team members to speak freely so you can identify what you need to change.

Effective leaders speak well and if you lack that skill, it will be a good idea to take public speaking courses and practice speaking in front of the mirror or your friends. You can't really expect people to listen to you if you don’t have good communication skills.

Being a leader does not always mean talking and everyone doing what you say. Instead of just you thinking about what to do, listen to what people say. Your team members may have a great idea that you never thought about before.

Take it into consideration what they have to offer.

Leaders should be able, also, to take some risk in any decision they make. It should not be made on a whim but rather a calculated one that could be good for the organization. If this should fail though, you should be ready to face the consequences and take responsibility.

It will also be a good idea to assess what contributed to the failure so that if you want to try something like it again in the future, the outcome will be different.

A vital quality that any leader must have is trust. People look up to you so you have to show that whatever they say is kept in confidence. If you say you are going to do something, keep your word because this is your bond. Hopefully, people will admire these qualities and then try to do the same thing.

A leader is not born. He or she is made so that they can have a vision and then share this with whomever they are working with. Does the leader have the answers to everything? No - but if the person is able to inspire others, it can help them develop ideas that they can share.

Read more on improving conversation skills

12/18/2009

Learn How to Love Yourself - An Antidote for Stress

It's kind of difficult to work on your self improvement program when you are upset.

In the most stressful of days, everyone needs some for that famous TLC, (tender love and care). When you feel tied into knots with stress, it's probably a good time to mentally remove yourself from the situation and see things in a bigger and better perspective. Stress cannot be avoided, However there are responsibilities you just can't ignore, and unfortunately, some of these are accompanied by high levels of anxiety.

Sometimes giving up just seems to be the best solution. What do you do when the time comes that you have to deal with everything, face up to your decisions, and take all the consequences? Running away is certainly not an option.

Just remember, being scared is not necessarily a bad thing. It's what you do when you're faced with fear that counts. When you successfully deal with bad situations, take the time to treat yourself with a reward. It helps inspire you to do better every time a form of harassment comes into your life.

Ways to deal with stress

One thing many people resort to when they need to unwind is have themselves a (Read more here)

12/11/2009

Putting Motivation Into Perspective when Setting Business Goals

Putting Motivation Into Perspective when Setting Business Goals

The difference between achieving formal goals versus informal goals is one of motivation.

If you've ever worked in a corporate management position, you're no stranger to MBO - the concept of establishing goals and their importance to any organization that practices management by objectives.

Even if you've never been in a position where you had to define specific, measurable goals, you may not realize that you do this every single day. By not consciously saying so, you are actually setting goals and you are usually better able to achieve them with far less analysis than accomplished through formal goal setting.

Quite often with formal goals, we may make progress towards our objective, but not have a clear understanding of the process required - and we often see a decline in our motivation to continue effectively.

This is perhaps most often seen in group work environments where one or two members of the group seem to ... (finish reading here)


12/09/2009

Consider this stress relief exercise

Consider this stress relief exercise –

Set a timer (for example on a digital watch) to beep every 3 to 5 minutes as a reminder to check your breathing. This helps because as we submerse ourselves into a given task, we can easily lose track of our breathing without realizing it.

You may even find it helpful to repeat a phrase during your "breath in - breath out" practice like, "I'm breathing in", "I'm breathing out", to help you establish the proper rhythm. Your goal is to allow your body to take over automatically with proper breathing habits.

Practice makes perfect - and you'll find that this is an excellent stress management technique.

Understand more about Stress Relief breathing techniques

12/04/2009

Goal Setting - In Theory and In Practice

Goal Setting - In Theory and In Practice

Creating a clear vision of what we want to accomplish in a business plan involves the cardinal task of establishing goals.

Setting goals doesn't appear to be that difficult. You establish a specific goal, one that's measurable and has a defined timeframe for completion.

You implement the plan, measure progress towards reaching the goal and then evaluate the outcome objectively to refine the process.

On the surface, it sounds easy enough to do.

But it rarely seems to work out that way for numerous reasons; primarily because we often fail to establish realistic goals.

Additionally, we often casually set goals with only a hazy view towards how they'll actually be accomplished. And while we're typically motivated at the beginning of the process, it's not at all unusual to lose this drive somewhere along the way.


When preparing your own goals, it's important (Read more on Goal Setting)

11/26/2009

The Need for Self-Confidence

The Need for Self-Confidence

In order to succeed in life, we first have to believe in ourselves.

We all have hidden fears that we don't always want to share with others. These fears often leave us paralyzed. When the need to overcome these fears is required, sometimes we take the easy way out by hiding and running for cover.

Without self confidence, we won't have the tools to face life's challenges. The dilemma we sometimes face is not knowing how to gain self confidence. Do we really have to experience success first before we believe in ourselves? Maybe, but then again, many set themselves up to be discouraged before they've even tried anything.

In order to succeed in life, we first have to believe in ourselves. All this talk about finding ways to achieve success is pointless when we just don't trust our own talents and abilities

To make your goals more attainable, you can make them more manageable by breaking down your larger goal into smaller ones. The chances for success here then increase. Then, make sure that you celebrate each small feat that you overcome.

Self image is another important factor. If you constantly criticize yourself, you will never feel adequate. Negativity begets negativity. This low self image is sometimes the by-product of your life experiences as you face the devastating blows of your wrong choices. You need to realize that these mistakes will never hold you down as long as you don't allow them to. Look at now, not yesterday!

What have you learned from your wrong choices? Use these experiences to serve as a guide as you continue on life's path.

There are also people who have an effect on the way you look at yourself. It's your choice about spending time with individuals that tear you down. Learn to put your foot down and seek out those who can be more helpful to your overall growth. The ones that deserve your time are the ones who recognize your inner strength.

See yourself as inherently worthy. Be aware of how unique you are and realize that you are more than capable of contributing to the good of the world. Pay attention only to those who want what's best for you. Turn a deaf ear to those who just want to see you go down. Look at yourself in a more positive light and start to see what you are actually blessed with.

Your self image is intimately intertwined with your destiny. Guard you thoughts against feelings of inadequacy. The power of a positive vision should never be underestimated. This is what helped the most successful people on their way to the top.

Rule of thumb states that the clearer the goal is, the higher your self confidence gets.Only with trusting yourself and knowing what you are capable of will you ever be able to attain success.


More about Confidence and Self Trust

11/16/2009

Getting Out of Our Comfort Zone

Too many people surround themselves with only what they know for the sake of their own comfort.

They try to keep surprises to a minimum and excuse their attitude by saying that they're creatures of habit. They call themselves smart and rational because they hold themselves back, thinking that everything outside their comfortable circle poses danger. While they want to do more, the fact that they already know what to expect is more desirable.

Comfort zones provide us with that warm fuzzy feeling because we know that we will always have a place filled with things that are familiar to us. When the unexpected happens, we sometimes don't know how to react, especially if it is something we do not want. Our comfort zones provide solace and peace when life just gets too stressful. Sometimes, things get too tough to handle, and we retreat to this cozy place for a breather.

Unfortunately, when we want to achieve greatness in this lifetime, we have to realize that we need to get out and step into the unknown. Prominence and success exist outside the comfort zone. Those who achieve do so because they put themselves on the line and are willing to take risks. They do things that most won't necessarily dare to do.

Developing the habit of making ourselves adapt to whatever environment we're placed in is one of the most important things that we can do to ensure our continuous development. We should not limit our comfort zones to only one place. In fact, we should be able to fit in and adapt wherever we are. We should be comfortable with change and resilient to discovery of new things.

Sadly, most people believe in the concept of sticking with what is tried and tested. As a result, they lead boring lives, lives devoid of sheer fun and adventure. If we want more out of life, we need to bring out our adventurous side. Comfort zones don't mean anything for risk takers because they know that reaching their goal trumps fear.


More on being comfortable

11/11/2009

Earn the Respect You deserve

At the heart of the most successful relationships is respect. Whether the relationship is professional or personal, there's a certain kind of admiration held for that person. If you want people to respect you, you also have to show that you deserve it.

Some people mistake respect for fear. The difference between these two is the fact that people actually like the people they respect. They respect the people they fear simply because they are afraid of the repercussions if they go against the desires of that person. Fear doesn't create friendships, respect does.

Have you ever taken a moment to define what it is like to truly respect someone? Be completely sincere with the person you respect and don't do anything to hurt thrm. In return, you will become good friends, because the relationship is based on mutual trust and respect.

If you find yourself with a person who doesn't treat you with any value, a relationship is doomed for failure. Get up and leave. If you stick around with this person, it can end up hurting either one of you. It is simply a futile effort to try to salvage things you know deep down aren't going to change.

Other people's beliefs may differ from yours, but what is most important is that you acknowledge your differences and move on. You were all raised in different environments and have different ways in coping with issues.

Recognize that each person is unique and that what is most important is the intention behind their actions. They act on things because of what their beliefs are, and it doesn't always have to be about you, so don't take it personally if they go against your wishes.

This is where communication plays a pivotal role. By talking things through, you can come to an agreement which will help you understand others better. If reaching a mutual understanding is impossible to do, then get out.

Keep in mind that it's always your choice. No one can force anything on you if you don't allow them to. The key ingredient to this healthy assertiveness is self love.

Know your worth and treat people the way you'd want them to treat you. The golden rule comes into play here, and it is the most basic and most important of beliefs. Simply stated, to get respect, you have to give respect!

More on Healthy Relationships

11/03/2009

Being the Best of Who You Can Be

Being the Best of Who You Can Be

The word 'best' is relative. Some may think they become better people when they've climbed the ladder of success and reached the top. Some, on the other hand, believe that a happy family life will make them the best that they can be. The word is actually dependent on your goals in life.

Admittedly, we all have different goals, and some may be harder to attain than others. Becoming better, whether physically, spiritually, or mentally, will depend on how we are as a person.

We must accept who we are and what our limitations are. We all have different talents and we need to know what our niche in life is so we can work on it. Our life's experiences have shaped who we've become, and because we have different experiences, we all have unique talents and abilities.

Someone who grew up in poverty may say that they have become more street-smart, a successful person may boast of his business abilities, and a mother may say that she is quite adept at balancing her time at work and with her family.

Whatever it is, we've learned to cope with life because we simply had to. And in our efforts to meet all the demands placed on us, we had to learn the ways in which we can meet the expectations that others have of us.

The problem is that many people don't want to accept who they are and what they've become. They sometimes let their past affect them, as if they were ashamed of the very thing that helped them become the person they are today. Living in shame is not a way to becoming our ultimate selves. If
we do, we will spend our lives trying to hide our true nature. That's simply no way to live!

We must accept that there are just some things we cannot change. These things should teach us to be proud of who we are. After all, when we go through great misery, we come out of it filled with wisdom. We need to share our story, so that we can say we had it in us to succeed despite the things
that happened to us.

We should be proudest of overcoming the things that we were once ashamed of.

Confidence and Self Trust

10/30/2009

Making the Right Career Change

Could it be too late for us to make a career change?

We go to high school, go to college, and concentrate on our careers. The universities prepare us for the real world by enhancing our talents so that we do well in our chosen fields. We continue living this somewhat happy life but find ourselves growing more and more restless each day. We wonder, and then wham! The realization hits us: we are no longer happy with our jobs. We realize after years of study that this isn't what we wanted after all.

Then we wonder, could it be too late for us to make a career change? What if this is just a phase of our lives much similar to a mid-life crisis? Before we make any final decision, we have to think things through. We have to know that life is an ongoing learning experience, and regardless of age, there are too just too many aspects to learn in life that a lifetime is not enough to figure all these out.

Change is inevitable, and it doesn't mean we cannot learn to make something worthwhile of the necessary changes that life presents. Our careers keep us on a steady path, but when we are no longer happy, it's difficult to stay on that path. We cannot help but veer away from it. It's human nature to stay away from the things that displease us.

No matter how much we earn, we need to achieve the feeling of true accomplishment if we really want to be happy. Once we've decided on what to really concentrate on and specialize in, we need to plan how to equip ourselves with the skills needed to earn that job. Letting go of our present careers completely may be too difficult to undertake. This is our bread and butter at the moment, and we would unable to do anything if there is no income. Plan and make the shift slowly. If we have to offer extra hours at night, so be it. If the end result makes us happy, then we might have to work hard to reach it.

When making a big decision to change your path, you may need some help. You should never hesitate to ask for it. We need someone who can help us put everything in perspective. Seeking support can help us to stay afloat if we feel like we're drowning.

Making a major change is always a tough decision. Ideally, we should have made the choice even before entering college, but it is never too late for anyone. Nowadays, we all can make something of ourselves with the help of modern technology. As long as we have the drive to enrich ourselves with the skill, doors will always be open for us.

Choosing Your Life's Path


10/24/2009

How to Talk Your Way to a Promotion

When you dream of success, you have to plan for ways to achieve it

It takes guts to move up the corporate ladder. The daily grind of work can be stressful, and when you are up against people who are equally competitive, you need to make an even bigger impression. In today's competitive world, the possibility of succeeding becomes more difficult and challenging. You work yourself to the bone, yet you still find yourself stuck in the same position with the same measly salary.

When killing yourself with work doesn't bring you closer to your desired position, gather up the courage to negotiate with your supervisor. All types of successful negotiations begin with being clear about what you truly want from the company. Being aggressive and pushy may just get you into trouble. Your supervisors demand respect, and even when they are at fault, you need to be the humble person here.

The best way to negotiate is to show the higher-ups why you deserve the job. Yearly employee evaluations are always the best times to bring up a matter or talk about an issue. Be diplomatic and tactful when you tell them why you deserve the job. Never forget to mention your capabilities and highlight your strengths. People get promoted when they meet and exceed the expectations set for them. Devote time to doing your job well, and if you have been successful, it will be to showcase your quality of work.

So how exactly can you make your work better? Well, you need to take a step back and see how your specific duties contribute to the bigger picture. Research if you must so that you arm yourself with the skills needed to fulfill that dream position. Focus your research on a specific field. It helps to know the market trend, and when you display immense knowledge on a certain subject matter, your superiors will feel that you are able to make the right choice when the time comes.

Of course, part of every learning experience is making mistakes. You should not get frustrated when something goes wrong. Nobody's perfect and neither are you! Accept your limitations and be open to suggestions from those with experience. Ask for help if you must because people will respect you more if they see that you are willing to learn.

When you dream of success, you have to plan for ways to achieve it. Keep your focus on the right path and develop the attitude of a go-getter. You will definitely get that coveted position if you work on your skills and your attitude.

Working toward a Happy Life

10/22/2009

A Life with a Purpose

Your main purpose in life should be making yourself happy and content

Many people live their lives aimlessly. They go through the motions of activities robotically, as if they were simply expected to perform their duties with no questions asked. Then, in time, they find themselves stopping and asking themselves why they're doing something that doesn't make them happy in the first place.

Many eventually question the things that they do in life. Others, unfortunately, still go through life drifting aimlessly for the simple reason that it gives them instant monetary gratification.

Your main purpose in life should be making yourself happy and content. Know that when you work on improving yourself, you will never look back with regret, or worse, with pity for yourself and what you've become. You need a mission that fires your innermost passion and inspires you to pursue even further.

Without a goal in mind, you simply are going through a form of drudgery that eventually extinguishes your inner fire.

You have to be focused as you single-mindedly pursue the things that make you feel complete. Of course, reaching your goals is not always easy. If it were, then the world should have been completely emancipated from problems. It is a journey where you also have to make a decision on which road to take. Let your conscience guide you because even with dreams, you can never be happy if you live with a heavy heart.

A person's life is made up of an infinite number of moments. Make these moments count and make sure that even if it is always not filled with laughter, you take something from every experience. Enjoy your relationships and take care of yourself. These are the foundations to any form of life. Who are you when you can't lean on someone? The people around you define who you are. They will provide you with the support you'll need during difficult times.

With each moment towards your dream comes careful planning.

When you realize what your innermost desires are, you now have your ultimate purpose in life. Your mission is to perform the tasks to make your wants a reality. It makes life worthwhile when you know you are working towards something.

The happiest discovery you will ever make is that your journey reveals to you all the delights and pleasures of life. Savor the small tasks along the way because these add up to something big, something spectacular. Your mission is to understand things and know that your experiences are there to make you the best person you can be. You can only be your ideal self when you accept what life offers and find ways to deal with it rather than cower from it.


Work for a Happy Life

10/18/2009

Your Lifes Direction

Most of us don't know our direction in life.

Ever find yourself waking up one morning up full of zest and energy to pursue your life's dreams and then realize another six months have gone by and you aren't even one step closer to any of your goals? If you find yourself in this rut, then maybe it's because you've been caught in a trap, the kind that is difficult to get out of. Where are you headed? Do you know? Where have your dreams gone? Have you just pushed them aside?

Most of us don't know our direction in life. We live with so many dreams inside us but somehow we keep finding ourselves finding excuses to delay the pursuit of our goals. We offer up so many excuses: bills to pay, family to take care of, work to finish, etc. Too many excuses and too many delaying tactics.

In the end, when we see that we haven't accomplished much, we have no one to blame but us. We don't want to live life this way. But then, who does?

We get off track time and again, as most people do. We get too caught up in life's little hindrances that we forget to live in the moment, to enjoy the present! The reason for all the confusion may lie on the fact that our dreams are not as well-defined as we would want them to be.

The problem, therefore, is focus. We must have clarity of thought to know how we can accomplish what we want. We need a step-by-step plan that spells out what we have to do to get to the end. When we experience setbacks, we have to know how to deal with each of them.

After all, nothing in life is perfect. There are just things that are way beyond our control, and if we live life going a step forward and then two steps back, we go further away from our dreams. The farther we go, the more impossible it will seem to get what we want.

It's also important to acknowledge the situation we're in. We all live in different environments and have different methods of coping with reality. The important thing is to be in touch with the things that happen around us. Knowing how our surroundings affect us will give us clues on what to do with the inevitable limitations set on us.

We can sometimes fall flat on our faces and commit social faux pas along the way. If this happens, just remember it's not the end of the world. We get up, keep moving, and come up with an even better plan. We don't need to be super heroes to avoid traps. What we need is an interminable spirit to continue on despite mistakes.

We have to be our own biggest supporter, the person who cheers the loudest during game time. Otherwise, who will believe in a person who doubts? Let us start chasing our dreams, stop running away from harsh reality, and take the time to map our life's direction
.

Steering Yourself towards the Path You Choose

10/12/2009

Being a Great Team Player

Being a Great Team Player

Good social skills are a plus in a leader, but not a necessity.

Some people make great leaders, and while they can manage the team seamlessly, some have a hard time allowing another team member to take over the leader's role. Do you feel this way? Do you work well with others or would you rather do things alone if you can't be the leader? Being a team player requires a very different mind set.

Yes, good social skills are a plus in a leader, but not a necessity. As a team leader, people have to follow you because you are considered an authority in your field. Though you may not be well-liked by the people on your team, they still have to follow you out of duty or respect.

But to be a great team player is altogether another issue. You need to work well with the others on your team and complement their skills with yours. It's all about getting along professionally and personally. You have to be able to manage your emotions and be able to communicate to your fellow members effectively. You must adapt an intuitive sense of others in order to become understanding of all of your team members. You will need to consider everyone's viewpoints in order to make the good of the collective group stronger and more effective.

The skill set for the Team Captain is crucial to the success of any team, but more than that are the individual capabilities of the players who do all the detailed tasks. The members of the team are usually the people recognized for coordination and hard work.

Sometimes, as a team member, your goals will differ from the goals of others. You must make sure to keep the group's goals as your priority. You also should have the initiative to learn more about the dynamics of the team and what it takes to accomplish the desired results. Try to think about reaching that goal as the absolute destination, and not just a possibility.

Each player must recognize his or her individual strengths to provide for the team effort and which skills are most useful. As a team member, you must establish your strength from the very beginning so that the leader is in a better position to put you in a task where you excel and are most comfortable.

Lastly, be helpful. There may be occasions when another member becomes so engulfed in their own tasks that they fail to realize how well the others are performing - or struggling. The "to each his own" attitude simply doesn't work in a team environment. By being more aware of the things around you, you completely eliminate any kind of weakness and actually become a force to be reckoned with - an outstanding team member - an possibly the next team leader.

More on the power of confidence

10/09/2009

The Difference between Working Hard and Working Smart

The Difference between Working Hard and Working Smart

Getting more done in less time is somewhat of an art.

Some people may claim that they are one of the best workers in their workplace simply because of the hours they put in. This isn't necessarily true. To an extent, you do have to dedicate time for work. In the end, however, it's the quality of your work that people look at rather that the hours of service you gave.

Accomplishing more in less time requires much effort, but keep in mind that working smart comes before everything else. Burning the midnight oil at some point can be detrimental to your health. If you lack sleep and are fatigued with all the demands placed on you, your work may suffer. You'll find it difficult to focus when you're too tired to do anything else.

Yes, working hard reaps a lot of rewards, but experience tells us that the best way to achieve success is to work hard at working smart. How do you do this? First, you have to be more flexible. Changes come everyday. Sometimes, in the middle of the project you may find that you will have to change a lot of the things. Instead of complaining, know that this comes with the territory.

Another problem is that people tend to procrastinate. If you do this, you definitely will end up disappointing more people than pleasing them. That's why it's important to plan ahead. Work out the steps to take and take it easy. Haste makes waste! The more you panic, the messier your output becomes.

Simply observe your colleagues and you will notice that those who are most successful are the ones who are able to multi-task and balance their responsibilities. Juggling several things all at one time does not have to be confusing. You just have to know which of these tasks go together so that you are not left bewildered.

Double the time does not necessarily mean double the result. It helps to update yourself on the recent technological advances. Know which tools or programs work best for you and avoid stressing yourself with things that are just way too confusing. The good thing about today's developments is that designers have made software simpler and easier to use.

To succeed and achieve higher plateaus requires that we constantly have to strategize. You will find that communication has given you easy access to reading materials (online, especially), that will help you achieve your goal. Read and learn. In the end, you'll realize just how much you've learned and how it's quite simple to put the time saving tools and programs into smarter working habits.


Being Productive in Spite of Workload

10/06/2009

Improve Your Work Attitude

Improve Your Work Attitude

To have a happy and healthy work attitude, you have to manage your stress.

Office work is stressful and nearly impossible to avoid. The real world puts so many demands on you that you sometimes have to find a balance between work and play. More often than not, work trumps personal time simply because it sustains your lifestyle.

But you don't have to forget your personal life just so you can continue your climb up the ladder of success. What you do apart from your job helps you relax your mind. If you give yourself time to relax, you will be better able to cope with work demands. The last thing you want is a burnout.

You have to manage your stress to have a happy and healthy work attitude. There are ways to relieve the stress while you are at work. The secret is to not wait for the stress levels to go up. Here are a few tips that can help you improve your work attitude so that you can be a better performer -

1. Start living a healthy lifestyle. With the right amount of nutrients in your body and the proper exercise, you will find that you have more energy, and with more energy to back you up, you are able to achieve more things with the amount of time allotted for your job.

2. Manage your time by making a schedule. Cramming is the worst possible thing you can ever do. Having a calendar to follow enables you to know how much you can allocate for a certain type of work and you an spread your responsibilities in a way that you fulfill a little of what you have to do each day.

3. Keep a happy and healthy attitude. Smiling helps you relax. This may sometimes be the most difficult thing to do, especially when pressure builds up. Nonetheless, you also have to trust in yourself and in your abilities. Sometimes, things just can't be accomplished immediately, and that's a truth you have to accept.

4. Avoid procrastination. Know that the more you put off work for later, the more it piles up. Time is of the essence and every minute spent doing nothing is a minute wasted.

5. Clear your clutter. Signs of clutter are generally perceived by the mind as a distraction. Being organized helps you find things more easily, and time spent looking for a file is also time wasted.

Work attitude is connected to work habit. Just make sure that you equip yourself with the right attitude and know that the more willing you are to attain and finish your responsibilities, the more people will also respect you.

If you surround yourself with people who look up to you, your work environment will definitely be more pleasant. Remember, happier people are generally more motivated and productive.

More on Motivation and Goals

10/03/2009

Emotional Maturity and Happiness

Emotional Maturity and Happiness

Emotional maturity is the ability to see life through a clear glass. The capability to manage your emotions and take full responsibility for your life is one of the necessary skills that will enable you to achieve victory, stability, and bliss.

Happiness can be equated to how you feel about yourself. The more confident you are, the more you are able to see the brighter side of life. When you feel depressed, you bring yourself and others down with you. You go on a downward spiral until you break down. You go through the daily struggles of life with no hope for a happier tomorrow. You start to lose the will to even attempt to overcome the smallest obstacle.

The truth is, you are in charge of our destiny. Your happiness is connected with how you see yourself as a person. You have to know that you are worth something.

There may be instances when it is appropriate to feel guilty and resentful. You have either totally lost faith in the system or you may no longer value the things that are thrown in your path. You are, of course, allowed to experience these emotions. However, you have to let them go quickly so that they leave no long term negative residual effects. To get stuck in a rut is detrimental to both your health and sanity.

You shouldn't hide from the bad things happening to you, neither should you embrace them. You just have to see them as they are. It's a dilemma you have to overcome and a puzzle you have to solve. Problems don't go away when you sulk. Find ways to get rid of the negative energy and move on. When you constantly look back, you will dwell on what's past. The future is there waiting, and you will only see it if you look forward.

You have to dream, anticipate, plan, and make goals to achieve what you desire. Live your life in the present to attain the future that you want. Negative emotions, when given time and energy, will take their toll on some aspect of your life in the future.

There is no need to beat yourself up because of your unrealistic expectations. Everyone goes through difficult times, and when this happens to you, make sure you understand the situation. Analyze and think of solutions. It's a whole lot better than sulking. The more you evaluate the problem, the better your chances of finding the answer to happiness.


Be confident and Trust Yourself

10/02/2009

How to Talk Your Way to a Promotion

When you dream of success, you have to plan for ways to achieve it

It takes guts to move up the corporate ladder. The daily grind of work can be stressful, and when you are up against people who are equally competitive, you need to make an even bigger impression. In today's competitive world, the possibility of succeeding becomes more difficult and challenging. You work yourself to the bone, yet you still find yourself stuck in the same position with the same measly salary.

When killing yourself with work doesn't bring you closer to your desired position, gather up the courage to negotiate with your supervisor. All types of successful negotiations begin with being clear about what you truly want from the company. Being aggressive and pushy may just get you into trouble. Your supervisors demand respect, and even when they are at fault, you need to be the humble person here.

The best way to negotiate is to show the higher-ups why you deserve the job. Yearly employee evaluations are always the best times to bring up a matter or talk about an issue. Be diplomatic and tactful when you tell them why you deserve the job. Never forget to mention your capabilities and highlight your strengths. People get promoted when they meet and exceed the expectations set for them. Devote time to doing your job well, and if you have been successful, it will be to showcase your quality of work.

So how exactly can you make your work better? Well, you need to take a step back and see how your specific duties contribute to the bigger picture. Research if you must so that you arm yourself with the skills needed to fulfill that dream position. Focus your research on a specific field. It helps to know the market trend, and when you display immense knowledge on a certain subject matter, your superiors will feel that you are able to make the right choice when the time comes.

Of course, part of every learning experience is making mistakes. You should not get frustrated when something goes wrong. Nobody's perfect and neither are you! Accept your limitations and be open to suggestions from those with experience. Ask for help if you must because people will respect you more if they see that you are willing to learn.

When you dream of success, you have to plan for ways to achieve it. Keep your focus on the right path and develop the attitude of a go-getter. You will definitely get that coveted position if you work on your skills and your attitude.

Work for a Happy Life

10/01/2009

Woe is Me

Woe is Me

Self pity is a shortcut to the path of destruction.

When times are tough, it is always easy to give in to depression and constantly moan about the woes of life. There are just too many worries to constantly think about: bills to pay, family to care for, and so on. The problems never seem to end. The fact is, they never do end! As you make your journey through life, you will always encounter barriers and hurdles. These are trials that test your strength and improve your will. Rather than simply giving up and crying your frustrations out, you may want to look around you and see that no one is exempt from problems.

Self pity may get you sympathy at first, but if this is a repetitive behavior, don't be surprised if you lose friends along the way. No one wants to be surrounded with sadness, and no one can take a whiner for too long a period. It's very unlikely that you will ever meet a person who never struggles with frustration. This comes with the territory of being human. It is not wrong to be frustrated, but it is how we handle our frustration that counts.

One of the most effective ways to change how you react to negativity is to change how you see it and what you do about it. When you give in to depression, you are basically saying that you don't have it in you to solve the problem. In fact, you are just aggravating the situation. You can yell, curse, and cry, yet the problem still remains unsolved.

On the other hand, a more productive solution would be to view frustrations as a chance for improving your abilities to solve problems. If you get frustrated, try to have an outlet. Go talk to a friend, visit a specialist, or pound your fists into a pillow. You need to let it out and find a way to express your explosive emotions. Don't keep them bottled up inside of you. The thing about self-pity is that if you can't get others to feel sorry for you, you can always just feel sorry for yourself.

Pity parties are always a party of one because no one wants to be on the guest list. Just know that when you catch yourself in this state, you tend to lose perspective. You lose sight of the big picture and will be unable to spot the solution that may just be right under your nose. When you are too caught up in your problems, you'll be too busy to even notice the faintest flicker of hope.

You must find ways to bounce back. Be the victor, not the victim. Make your goal in life focusing on solutions and learning not to quit. Instead of making excuses on your failure, learn to get back up and let your creative juices flow so that you can achieve what you want most - certainly not self pity.


You can Learn to Love Yourself

9/28/2009

The Need to Follow Your Dreams

The Need to Follow Your Dreams

Society today, dictates that we need a respectable job to make a decent name for ourselves. We are told to study hard, work hard, and basically prioritize our career over everything else so that we can experience some semblance of happiness. We hear this message throughout our lives and it has made a dramatic impact on us all.

Many of us believe we are left with no choice but to accept this concept and keep on running.

We keep our true dreams locked inside for fear that some people may not believe us or they may laugh at us. What price do we pay for conformity? We lose a great part of ourselves simply because we want to fit this ideal mold that everyone thinks is proper.

The good news is, we don't have to take the road that everyone follows. Now is the time to pursue our dreams, to answer our calling. This inner yearning comes from deep within the core of who we are as a person. Living this dream would bring us a genuine sense of well-being. When we do what we truly enjoy, we live more in the present. We may not make enough money with
this type of career, but we enjoy it and live without any regret.

The secret to happiness is to become courageous and follow what we truly want. If we have the talent and the ability to sustain that dream, why not go for it? The world of today glamorizes certain lifestyles and careers. Reality says otherwise. The key to enjoying life is to stand strong and not let what others think influence our final decision. This is where our inner strength must take control because we shouldn't let the views of others affect our search for fulfillment.

We also must bear in mind that following our dream doesn't mean that we will always enjoy every moment of it. There will be times that we will be required to do things that we do not love.

Following our dream does not always mean that we will experience an overall sense of satisfaction, but this is far better than ignoring our inner cravings and putting them off until it never actually happens. Our fantasies may sometimes be outside our comfort zone but we have to learn to cement our decision just to make ourselves truly happy with how our life has turned out.

By following what we truly desire, not only do we please ourselves, but we are also uplifting the spirit of the entire humanity!

More Personal Development notes here

9/24/2009

Moving Forward - Moving Up

Moving Forward - Moving Up

Suppose you were told that you had only a short time to live - what would you do? You would possibly concentrate on making yourself a better person, ask for forgiveness, want to travel, visit with friends and family - in such a situation, we would say all of the things we want to do.

Suppose, on the other hand, we find ourselves waking up one day not knowing where we're exactly headed in life. Our relationships with others require love and respect. Why can't we give the same to ourselves? We need to know what we are worth and what we deserve so that we are more driven to do what we've always wanted.

To move up in life, to keep a steady growth, we need to follow a few simple rules:

* We have to set goals that are important to us. By setting a goal, we have something to look forward to, a driving force that will fuel or energize us.

* We need to trust in our own abilities. We shouldn�t compare what we have to what others have. Everyone is different; each of us unique unto ourselves. Ignore those people who constantly criticize us. A positive mind is the ticket to a successful journey.

* Learn the power of meditation. By learning to channel our focus to something, we will be able to see things in a clearer light. A cool head does better in solving problems than a hot one.

* Dispel negative thoughts. These thoughts can be our life's biggest roadblock. Negative thoughts attract negative outcomes. It's a vicious cycle. We all have the ability to get of this rut, raise ourselves up, and begin our journey.

* Love ourselves. No one loves a person who doesn't love himself. We need to learn how to be thankful for what we have and who we are. Knowing what we can do and believing in our abilities will give us the strength to drive forward.

Knowing what is good in each of us is not being egotistical. We don't have to brag. The glow in our faces will be proof enough of how happy we are with the cards that life has dealt us with. For us to succeed and move up, we have to live our life free of regrets. Being proud of who we are will prove to be good for our psyche. As long as we live in harmony with ourselves, we are bound to fulfill our destiny.

More articles on Personal Development here

9/21/2009

Overcoming the Fear of Failure

Overcoming the Fear of Failure

Life is a game in which we all take a gamble every so often, but what sets us apart from the winners is our attitude when we get into the game.

Wouldn't it be great if we were all mentally tough and could take whatever life throws our way? Fear of the unknown is what usually holds us back from doing anything remotely interesting and different. Usually though, this only takes the backseat to an even bigger fear, and that is fear of failure!

We simply become too afraid and settle for mediocrity simply because we do not want to be humiliated. We accept defeat and convince ourselves that we aren't capable of succeeding. We should keep in mind that while negative thoughts create gloom, the energy radiated by having a positive attitude is reflected in our actions.

The same goes for our professional lives. Some of us go to work, do our job, and basically do everything as a routine of habit. We are far from being satisfied with our careers but we carry on nonetheless. Why? Because that's what we do and are familiar with.

We have other dreams but keep them on the back burner because we don't know if we have the right abilities and talents. If we do decide to pursue our dreams and do what we are most passionate about, we fear that we aren't good enough and that we might humiliate ourselves in the end. Our life can become a sham with this attitude, and we definitely have to pursue our innermost desires to have a chance at happiness.

If you have a fear of failure, this is not unique to only you. Many other people dread the thought of losing. However, it is important to note that this fear can do more than keep us from being successful. It holds us back from living the kind of life we deserve. Often times, this form of terror develops over a period of time, often triggered by memories of sadness.

Because we did fail in the past, we know how it felt when people laughed at us.

The truth is, we are good enough. We may not be talented in some areas, but surely there is something at which we can excell. We need to improve our self esteem and realize that life is all about experimenting. If we fail, then maybe we should look at the process and see what went wrong. Every good scientist knows that they have to come up with a good hypothesis before they test it.

We all have to be that scientist who willingly tries out every theory. The road to success is riddled with bumps and holes. It is only in trying that will we realize which ones should be avoided. If there's one thing that's certain, it's the fact that people who keep trying despite their hundreds of failures will triumph a lot sooner than those who don't make any effort at all.

So, how exactly can we all overcome fear? Just take little steps but be brave enough to give everything a shot. Those who quit will be those who will live their lives with great regret.

More Self Empowerment articles here.

9/18/2009

Creating Love and Fostering Friendship

Creating Love and Fostering Friendship

Love and friendship don't come easy.

Many people believe that love and friendship are two mutually exclusive ideas. They know that ideally, your partner, the person you most care for, also needs to be your greatest confidant. They know it, but they don't put their knowledge into good use. Moreover, they limit these two concepts to their partner, their significant other, to their other half. But the truth is, love and friendship apply to most, if not all of the relationships that they have in their life.

Love and friendship don't always comes naturally. It takes a lot of work to create relationships that stand the test of time. The relationships have to be created and worked on by both people involved. As you reflect on the various stages in life, you'll realize that you sometimes have to let go of some of your friends. There's a sort of 'falling out' with some of the people that you once considered an important and integral part of your growth.

To foster the kind of relationship that engenders both love and friendship, and lasts a lifetime, there are several things you can do.

The first is to be a good friend. For you to attract the right people, you have to be a good and loving individual. You get what you give, and if you truly show kindness, you'll earn their loyalty as well.

No one wants a selfish friend. A healthy relationship involves give and take. You need not be a perfect person. We all have some room for improvement and could use a little bit of help in becoming better.

Secondly, you must allow time to play its role in enhancing whatever relationship you have in your life now. Just like a successful business venture, you need to invest a part of yourself into it. It is a matter of finding the ideal time to establish a connection. Huge chunks of your time go into your work, and you often forget hat the most important thing in life is the people that surround you. Many die lonely after marrying their careers. They forget that all their efforts are in vain when there is no one to share their triumphs.

Third, you need to be honest about your feelings. You need to choose your friends, and make it a wise decision. You simply cannot live with people that pull you down. When you feel yourself getting dragged lower, cut the chains and save yourself from further hurt.

So, can love survive without friendship? Definitely not. Love stems out of friendship and no relationship can survive without mutual respect.

Read more articles on Self Development Here

How to Play It Smart During Tough Times

How to Play It Smart During Tough Times

It's easy to feel like you're hanging by your fingernails during turbulent and tough times. As the economy goes from bad to worse, your ideal future looks bleaker by the day. That's why you need to find ways to budget your earnings and save more despite rising prices. In fact, you need to know now more than ever where your money goes.

What you need is a plan to protect your money, health, and well-being.

It's good to be worried about where the economy's headed. People who don't have this concern may one day find themselves knee-deep in debts and problems.

Know what your expenses are. If you need to write them down, then do so. A list gives you a view of the entire picture. It'll also give you an idea where your money goes. By tracking your daily costs in a diary, you will be able to see where you can cut back. You don't have to buy something every time you feel stress. In fact, showing some willpower will "Give you a sense of control".

In times of stress, you must never take your health for granted. Make sure that you have a way to release tension. Many experts consider Exercise to be the most helpful solution. When you work out, your body releases hormones that help you become more relaxed. Spend some time in the gym, or go for a walk. Many people swear to the effectiveness of a workout. Just make sure that you have an outlet for your anxiety. Keeping your issues bottled up can be very harmful to the various aspects of your life.

Lastly, enjoy the company of friends. It helps to know that you have a great support system by your side during your most difficult days. Even casually discussing your dreams to your friends and loved ones can be motivation enough for you to go into a quest to achieve them. The world can either be your ally or your enemy during these tough times. Make things work for you and ensure that you make plans for your future.

Empower Yourself - Read More

9/15/2009

Dealing with People Who Bring Us Down

Dealing with People Who Bring Us Down

When dealing with people who bring us down, we have to accept that we cannot change them, but can only change ourselves. In our lifetimes, we meet a number of people, but because it takes all kinds to make the world, there are just some that are too difficult to deal with.

These are people we don't like, people we try to avoid them at all costs. Staying out of their presence may be the right solution, but there are also times where passing into their sphere is unavoidable.

Friendly individuals lift up people emotionally, and if there is conflict, it can usually be worked out amicably. When dealing with the difficult ones, however, it's important to be able to distinguish between rights and responsibilities. Sometimes we feel obliged to adapt to them but we shouldn't forgo our rights as human beings, either.

There are also those that we have to deal with out of responsibility. The best thing that we can do here is to not reciprocate the difficulties that person is giving. Treating them with respect is important and we also must learn to listen to them as they air out their points of view. Doing this will help us better understand them. Plus, if we get to know them, we'll be able to strategize more with what to do and how to respond.

Difficult people are usually those who have issues in their life. Disassociate the problem from the person and learn to see things objectively. After all, if this person is not overstepping the boundaries, they will also eventually see that we too deserve respect.

We also have to stop seeing ourselves as victims. Blaming others for making us feel miserable can only further damage us. It gives others a chance to access our emotions. Take responsibility for how we feel, and work towards a solution before they attain a mental victory over us.

We just can't change other people. We can, however, influence ourselves to stop becoming affected. Nobody is worth this much energy and we don't need to sweat over those who don't deserve our respect. Deal with them like we should with work, and that is to never take it home with us.

So, in dealing with people who bring us down, accept that we cannot change others, but can only change ourselves. This may mean that we change perception of the way we deal with the situation. It's always better to look into ourselves first and see if it's us that needs to make changes. We, as individuals, also have our own pet peeves and issues.

If that other person really needs to change and is willing to make the adjustment, then we can use constructive influence. There are tactful ways to send a message through without making someone feel worse. Let us serve as inspiration be the positive influence. When we do this, we will slowly see ourselves surrounded by only those we like and respect, and not those who bring us down.


Self Empowerment - Read more Here

9/12/2009

Rely on Your Inner Strength

Rely on Your Inner Strength

We all have this inner critic that never changes. This stops us from seeing our true strengths and abilities. The key to moving forward and overcoming insecurities is to bring awareness to what you want and what you have achieved at present.

You don't want to spend half your life running away from things you fear. If you do, then you are not living your life to the fullest. You are merely surviving. You will deny yourself from the true pleasures of life simply because you are trying to avoid trials. You won’t go anywhere and instead, you will stagnate. You'll see the people around you living their dreams, while you are still at the bottom of the ladder.

Face it - as you work your way towards success, there will always be hindrances. When problems arise, retreating is not always the answer. Giving up is the coward’s way out, and people ruled with stress and fear will never achieve anything or amount to much.

We all have to deal with stress. It's a part of life, and when you allow things to get out of control, you only make the situation worse. When you leave things alone and focus your attention elsewhere, you are allowing the situation to win.

Your life will be about avoiding issues, and nothing will ever get better. Sooner or later you have to deal with it, and when you put off your responsibilities, you may one day find yourself overburdened with problems that are too difficult to handle.

You really need to find an immediate solution to controlling a bad situation and improving your circumstances. Do it before it controls you. Although many regard stress as the enemy, there are ways to making it your friend. Quiet time is, without exception, the best way to clear up your head.

You also have to trust in your abilities. When you find yourself in a predicament, you have to see it as a chance to strategize and prove to yourself and the people around you that you are more than capable of many things.

Reclaim your self esteem and courage. Harness enough energy so that you can live through day to day experiences with a new zest for life. There is nothing you can’t achieve if you simply put your mind to it. You simply have to get up every time you fall. You may find yourself bruised and battered, but if you strive forth, you’ll be able to conquer any trial and win over it with a mind filled with wisdom- your inner strength.

One of life’s goals is to teach you a lesson, let you learn as you go through each and every experience. Gain more knowledge from it and apply what you’ve learned. Practice makes perfect, and if you keep at it, you’ll see that it gets easier along the way.

Read more on Self Empowerment here

9/09/2009

Celebrating Life and Love

Celebrating Life and Love

Life does not always turn out the way we would want it to be. Things we wish would happen just don't. Things we hope will never happen - do. When we lose something of value, for example, we get frustrated and deeply hurt. Sometimes, we lock ourselves away from the rest of the world because we just don't want to deal with it.

Then, as time passes, we might realize that we've deprived ourselves from enjoying life and the blessings that we have. Any person who celebrates life moves past the negative. They avoid the nay-sayers, or hold little value to what they say. You just have to realize that sometimes things go well - and go awry at other times.

You don't have to feel the need to control every aspect in your life. It is within this acceptance that will you free yourself from unnecessary burdens.

To celebrate and enjoy life and love, keep these thoughts in mind:

1. Pursue your dreams with passion. Do what you desire with all vigor and zeal and don't allow distractions to delay your dream. Let your passion be your fuel.

2. Be proud of who you are. We may be far from perfect, but isn't that the point? It gives us something to strive for. Life would have been so boring if it were not this way.

3. Count your blessings. We may not have everything we want, but we do have some of them. A loving family, great friends, steady job. Whatever it may be, at least we have something we can be proud of.

4. Live life with a positive attitude. Discover what you're good at and use your talent to help you achieve your dreams. Ask friends for advice and let them help you. A helping hand or two does a world of difference.

Chasing your dream will not be easy. However, you have your entire lifetime to take action. Pursuing your dream is always worthwhie and age is unimportant here. A great life is a life filled with self-acceptance and self-love. Acknowledge who you are and be proud of how far you've come. Pat yourself on the back for every good thing that happens, and learn to share your good fortune.

When you share what you have and what you've learned, people will reciprocate your kindness. To be surrounded with love is but the greatest joy there is. Life is a gift, but it is up to you to discover life's surprises. Welcome everything that comes your way. Learn from life and live for tomorrow. The past can no longer be changed, but the future can still be altered.

The changes rest in your hands.

More on Self Empowerment Here

9/05/2009

Choosing Happiness

Choosing Happiness

Many people search their whole lives for happiness. For some, this search becomes endless, resulting in doubt that they can ever be happy.

Happiness does not have to be something you hope to have sometime in the future. It is totally in your hands to make it happen now. Part of the problem might be that you are searching outside of yourself. Happiness is not found anywhere but within you.

Sometimes we experience just how harsh reality can be. There are simply things that are beyond our control, people who we just can't change and circumstances that are just impossible to avoid. In times like these, we can choose peace. We can simply opt to forgive and experience an inner calm that gives us the strength to move on and continue.

In order for us to be able to use our power to choose happiness over everything else, we need to know what happiness is and what it truly means. Happiness is relative. Because we all came from different backgrounds, we don't share the same likes, dislikes, and pet peeves.

In other words, only you can really define what happiness means to you, and only you.

A lot of people are guilty of constantly making happiness a future occurrence by preceding every sentence they say with an "if" and a "when." These phrases trap happiness in the future. Joy can be attained immediately by anybody. To make this even more possible, you need to focus on those things that leave you with a powerful feeling of gratitude. This may be your greatest tool because when you begin to focus on what you are grateful for, you can't help but feel hopeful and excited.

Take time everyday to think about what you are most grateful for. Write about it. If you become vigilant with this practice, you'll notice more and more things to be grateful for.

The fact that you are alive or that it's a sunny day are the small things that you can smile about.

Happiness can be yours now. It is entirely up to you to make the choice to claim it. Everyone deserves to be happy, no matter what kind of person they were in the past. The point is, you just have to be happy about life in general and stop comparing yourself to others. No one has everything, and there are surely things you have that others don't.

Life is full of wonderful surprises. Though you may go through difficult days, there are still better times waiting for everyone along the way. Give yourself a chance - practice being more optimistic - and start seeing the "glass half full instead of half empty".

What sets optimists apart from pessimists is their ability to succeed by simply being thankful for what they have, no matter how small it is or how little it is worth.
They are happy.


More on Self Empowerment Here

9/02/2009

Dealing with Lifes Disappointments

Dealing with Life's Disappointments

Failures in some convoluted form are an integral part of life. We have to go through this to fully appreciate the successes that we have.

It’s easy to become discouraged when we encounter setbacks, to lose trust in ourselves and the people around us. Eventually, we have to come out of this hole and start rebuilding our lives. We’re left with no choice but to do this or else all our financial reserves go down the drain. Quite often the only way out of a situation is to simply trudge through it. As bad as things can be,nothing is worth dying for.

If we were to become paralyzed and contemptuous, we will only exacerbate the already glum situation. It’s throwing another log to the fire, and this will continue on and on unless we choose to put a stop to it. This vicious cycle of self-imposed ruin is something that we have to overcome.

Life is a journey of self-evolvement, and each problem we resolve can make us stronger and more resilient. We have to simply embrace life to learn how to face adversities. No matter how good or bad a situation may be, it will eventually end.

Life is all about growth through a variety of experiences. We can choose resistance or we can choose acceptance. Choosing acceptance allows us to embrace the inherent lessons along the way.

There are millions of others who are in the same boat. Everyone has to deal with these same things and we are never alone when we suffer. Let us share the burdens that we carry with our friends and ask them to help us during dire times. A burden shared is a burden halved.

With this in mind, we have to know that we can be surrounded by love if we allow it.

Happiness is all about overcoming disappointments. When we ask the help of our loved ones, we also have to know that we shouldn’t hurt them along the way. We have to appreciate what they can offer and not ask for more.

Friendship is a two-way thing. As much as we expect them to protect us, we also have to do everything within our power to make life easier for them because they also have responsibilities of their own to fulfill.

Perhaps the most valuable message about disappointment sometimes is not about us at all. Sometimes the lesson learned is about inspiring others to never give up because there’s nowhere to go but up when we are at the lowest point in our lives.

Visit the Personal Development and Self Empowerment website here

8/30/2009

How to Deal with a Moody Person

How to Deal with a Moody Person

There are many reasons why a person has violent mood swings. They may not feel well at the particular moment, or they may be experiencing some sort of dilemma that occupies most of their thoughts. Some people are just moody by nature. They have regular ups and downs as a part of their daily routine. Dealing with this type of person is never easy. The following bits of advice will help you in these situations:

1. Know their basic temperament. There are two types of grumpy people. The first is one who has an occasional bad day. They may have lost an important business deal or had a misunderstanding with their colleagues, whatever it is, there was a reason for their foul mood.

There's also the kind that goes through the emotional roller coaster regularly. This is the type of person who just brings you down with them because they always look at the glass as half-empty. People like this are usually extremely sensitive, and any little thing gets them on a roll towards self destruction. If faced with that kind of person, never feed their fire. Step back and avoid circumstances that can set them off.


2. Learn to read people. While some may readily share their emotions, there are others who withdraw and displace their inner feelings by having inappropriate reactions to small incidents. People like these will rant and rave about the most trivial of matters when what they are trying to do is mask their vulnerability.

The best way to deal with people who do this is to find out the underlying causes of their anger. Ask them how they are and offer to listen to them when they are calm enough to talk. Never force them to open up and talk about it, otherwise they'll retreat further into their shell. If they really refuse to talk, simply take a step back and let them know that they can approach you when they are ready. When we have problems, we always need to talk about the issues when the time is right.

The same goes for people who withdraw. If you complain about them a lot, chances are they will never look to you for comfort. Give them time to cool off, and while they do, never talk about them to the others who are not concerned. Be respectful of their personal privacy.


3. Put things in perspective. It's important to know that you are not responsible for someone else's mood. The crucial thing is to become the objective person. Step back and observe the things that trigger their anger. If they are grouchy towards you even when you haven't done anything, stand your ground and let them know that you will not tolerate that kind of treatment.

Deciding when enough is enough is entirely up to you. When you deal with a moody person, you have to be brave enough to also say stop. At the same time, you have to know that you need not sink to their level. If they cuss a lot and slam things when they are upset, don't do the same. Be the type of person who is easy to get along with.

More on Personal Empowerment Here

8/27/2009

How to Win Arguments

How to Win Arguments

People argue differently. Some shout while others sulk in a corner. The key to winning a verbal dispute is to identify the person's tactical maneuvers. You need to learn the art of disarming your opponents with ploys of your own.

Arguments will always be a part of human relationships. The difference in upbringing and beliefs make each person unique. Often times, people view a disagreement in a negative light. While getting into a fuss with another person can be stressful, it has its upside as well.

Arguments can open the doors to change. As with any other person, we all need to adjust and learn the value compromise, or meeting a person half way. It's even possible that you might be wrong!

Some people like to shout when they bicker. They seem to get upset even with the most trifle issues. People who shout lack control of their emotions. By telling them to put a lid on it will only make matters worse. It's always about power and aggression. In cases like these, you should not fight fire with fire. They will only shut you out and refuse to listen to what you have to say.

Consider backing off and giving that other person a chance to cool down. Then, approach them calmly and tactfully. Make them aware of their unhealthy way of venting out emotions. Tell them that you won't engage when they are in that mode. If their outburst persists, leave. Those people have anger management issues that can only be resolved with the help of an expert.

Others like to remain quiet and stoic when they are upset. The more you force it out of them, the more difficult they become. They will often leave you frustrated and helpless because they won't respond in self-defense. This may be their defense mechanism at work; their way of feeling safe during times of stress

You have to stop the confrontation. Try writing what you feel because while they can tune you out, they won't be able to tune out the written argument. If they are your friend, they will read your letter. Never suppress important issues. Broach the subject calmly. Try to lighten their mood and brighten their spirits by being humble and objective.

Then, there are the 'sulkers'. They slam doors, grumble and mutter, and when you ask them what is wrong, they keep their answers abrupt and vague. While shouters are difficult to deal with, these people can be just as destructive. The secret is to deal with them on neutral ground. Give them time and find ways to come to an agreement.

Whatever type of argument you find yourself in, it always helps to be the bigger person. Never blow your fuse. Try to be rational about the situation. People are likely to respect those who see things as they are. Never sugarcoat your opinions, but you also have to be diplomatic. The best way to earn their respect is to show them that you value their thoughts and emotions as well.

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8/24/2009

The Innate Power of a Hug

The Innate Power of a Hug

Believers of the law of attraction say that we are connected to each other biologically, to the world chemically, and to the universe atomically. Whatever our personal beliefs are, there is one thing that holds true, and that is we all live through the power of connection.

The problem now lies in the fact that most of us suppose that we should live apart from the rest. We may interact with other people on a daily basis, but at the end of the day, we choose to handle and face our problems all on our own.

Standing up for what we believe in and being accountable for the choices we make is an entirely good trait to have, but there’s a fine line between being courageous in standing up for ourselves and pushing people away simply because we don’t want to involve them in our personal issues.

Fact is, we need connections with other people, particularly with those who care for us. Even babies know this most basic need. Studies prove that babies who grow up with the power of touch become happier and healthier individuals.

As adults, we have to know the importance of human contact. A hug makes a world of difference in a person’s outlook in life. Hugs connect people beyond space and beyond time. With two arms wrapped around our body, friendships can deepen and become more meaningful.

Time and distance are immaterial when it comes to connection. Though hugs may not be as easy to do for some people, we must accept that touch is a part of our five senses.

We need to know how to communicate with others beyond language. After all, words only go so far. Physical communication is a way to send forth a message. With a mere embrace, we can tell people what we really think of them.

When stress is present in our lives, we need a way to relax. Whatever method you employ, there is no better cure for it than a hug.

So, if you find yourself in the crossroads of your life, seek out a friend or a family member. Ask for their comfort with the simple use of their two arms. Wrap them around your waist and immediately feel the connection with another kindred soul. Try it and see for yourself just how powerful and miraculous the simple gesture of a hug can be.

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8/21/2009

A Healthy Balance between Work and Family

A Healthy Balance between Work and Family

Do you think that risking your family’s happiness is worth the rewards you get from a job well done at work? It's very important that you balance these two aspects of your life. So how do you keep things running smoothly?

One of the major issues faced by working parents is that they are unable to properly balance their time. Women in particular feel that they are not able to spend quality time with their children because their jobs demand so much of their time. They need to fulfill their responsibilities at work before they can focus their attention to their family. Though work is an important part of life, the family should also be on top of the list of priorities.

Achieve balance by setting up time for both. If your family’s basic needs rest solely on your income, you can’t also risk your job. Leave work in the office and spend some quality time with your loved ones. Use your spare time wisely.

A picnic at the park or a night spent sitting on the couch to watch movies matter a lot. Your partner and your children are likely to be happy if they see you stick to the plan.

A mother in particular plays many roles. She needs to be a wife, friend, and confidant to the people in her house. Balancing career and family doesn't have to be viewed as an insurmountable feat, it just requires a bit of juggling. Assign tasks to the other family members as well and make a list of jobs to do around the house. By delegating chores, everyone will also know that their contributions help in making the family happy.

The demands of work and family put a lot of pressure on everyone. Seek help from other family members and let them learn the value of collaboration and unity. After all, to attain an ideal family life, each member must work at it.

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8/14/2009

The Need to Follow Your Dreams

The Need to Follow Your Dreams

When we do what we truly enjoy, we live more in the present.

In today's culture, we are expected to study hard, work hard, and basically prioritize our career over everything else so that we can experience some semblance of happiness. Then society dictates that we need a respectable job to make a decent name for ourselves. We hear this message throughout our lives and it has made a dramatic impact on us all.

Many of us believe we are left with no choice. We can be likened to hamsters that simply go through the daily monotony with no questions asked. Then, we keep our true dreams locked inside for fear that some people may not believe us or laugh at our absurdity. What price do we pay for conformity? We lose a great part of ourselves simply because we want to fit this ideal mold that everyone thinks is proper.

The good news is, we no longer have to take the road that everyone uses. Many people have lost their jobs in the face of this recent economic downturn. Now is the chance to pursue our dreams, to answer our calling. This inner yearning comes from deep within the core of who we are as a person. Living this dream would bring us a genuine sense of well-being.

The secret to happiness is to become courageous and follow what we truly want. If we have the talent and the ability to sustain that dream, why not go for it? The key to enjoying life is to stand strong and to not let what others think influence our final decision. This is where our inner strength takes the wheel because we shouldn't let the views of others affect our search for fulfillment.

We also must bear in mind that following our dream doesn't mean that we will always enjoy every moment of it. There will be times that we will be required to do things that we do not love. However, in the end, we get what we want. Life in itself is a surprise, and we may find ourselves being thrown a few surprises along the way.

Following our dream does not always mean that we will experience an overall sense of satisfaction, but this is far better than ignoring our inner cravings and putting them off until they never actually happen. Our fantasies may sometimes be outside our comfort zone but we have to learn to cement our decision just to make ourselves truly happy with how our life has turned out.

We must realize the master plan that is in store for each one of us. Though it requires conscious effort, we get to spend the rest of our lives without regret. Why? Because this is what and how it was meant to be. The seeds have been sown deep in our hearts and minds, and it is our job to reap the benefits of what we planted.

By following what we truly desire, not only do we please ourselves, but we are also uplifting the spirit of the entire humanity!


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