8/30/2009

How to Deal with a Moody Person

How to Deal with a Moody Person

There are many reasons why a person has violent mood swings. They may not feel well at the particular moment, or they may be experiencing some sort of dilemma that occupies most of their thoughts. Some people are just moody by nature. They have regular ups and downs as a part of their daily routine. Dealing with this type of person is never easy. The following bits of advice will help you in these situations:

1. Know their basic temperament. There are two types of grumpy people. The first is one who has an occasional bad day. They may have lost an important business deal or had a misunderstanding with their colleagues, whatever it is, there was a reason for their foul mood.

There's also the kind that goes through the emotional roller coaster regularly. This is the type of person who just brings you down with them because they always look at the glass as half-empty. People like this are usually extremely sensitive, and any little thing gets them on a roll towards self destruction. If faced with that kind of person, never feed their fire. Step back and avoid circumstances that can set them off.


2. Learn to read people. While some may readily share their emotions, there are others who withdraw and displace their inner feelings by having inappropriate reactions to small incidents. People like these will rant and rave about the most trivial of matters when what they are trying to do is mask their vulnerability.

The best way to deal with people who do this is to find out the underlying causes of their anger. Ask them how they are and offer to listen to them when they are calm enough to talk. Never force them to open up and talk about it, otherwise they'll retreat further into their shell. If they really refuse to talk, simply take a step back and let them know that they can approach you when they are ready. When we have problems, we always need to talk about the issues when the time is right.

The same goes for people who withdraw. If you complain about them a lot, chances are they will never look to you for comfort. Give them time to cool off, and while they do, never talk about them to the others who are not concerned. Be respectful of their personal privacy.


3. Put things in perspective. It's important to know that you are not responsible for someone else's mood. The crucial thing is to become the objective person. Step back and observe the things that trigger their anger. If they are grouchy towards you even when you haven't done anything, stand your ground and let them know that you will not tolerate that kind of treatment.

Deciding when enough is enough is entirely up to you. When you deal with a moody person, you have to be brave enough to also say stop. At the same time, you have to know that you need not sink to their level. If they cuss a lot and slam things when they are upset, don't do the same. Be the type of person who is easy to get along with.

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8/27/2009

How to Win Arguments

How to Win Arguments

People argue differently. Some shout while others sulk in a corner. The key to winning a verbal dispute is to identify the person's tactical maneuvers. You need to learn the art of disarming your opponents with ploys of your own.

Arguments will always be a part of human relationships. The difference in upbringing and beliefs make each person unique. Often times, people view a disagreement in a negative light. While getting into a fuss with another person can be stressful, it has its upside as well.

Arguments can open the doors to change. As with any other person, we all need to adjust and learn the value compromise, or meeting a person half way. It's even possible that you might be wrong!

Some people like to shout when they bicker. They seem to get upset even with the most trifle issues. People who shout lack control of their emotions. By telling them to put a lid on it will only make matters worse. It's always about power and aggression. In cases like these, you should not fight fire with fire. They will only shut you out and refuse to listen to what you have to say.

Consider backing off and giving that other person a chance to cool down. Then, approach them calmly and tactfully. Make them aware of their unhealthy way of venting out emotions. Tell them that you won't engage when they are in that mode. If their outburst persists, leave. Those people have anger management issues that can only be resolved with the help of an expert.

Others like to remain quiet and stoic when they are upset. The more you force it out of them, the more difficult they become. They will often leave you frustrated and helpless because they won't respond in self-defense. This may be their defense mechanism at work; their way of feeling safe during times of stress

You have to stop the confrontation. Try writing what you feel because while they can tune you out, they won't be able to tune out the written argument. If they are your friend, they will read your letter. Never suppress important issues. Broach the subject calmly. Try to lighten their mood and brighten their spirits by being humble and objective.

Then, there are the 'sulkers'. They slam doors, grumble and mutter, and when you ask them what is wrong, they keep their answers abrupt and vague. While shouters are difficult to deal with, these people can be just as destructive. The secret is to deal with them on neutral ground. Give them time and find ways to come to an agreement.

Whatever type of argument you find yourself in, it always helps to be the bigger person. Never blow your fuse. Try to be rational about the situation. People are likely to respect those who see things as they are. Never sugarcoat your opinions, but you also have to be diplomatic. The best way to earn their respect is to show them that you value their thoughts and emotions as well.

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8/24/2009

The Innate Power of a Hug

The Innate Power of a Hug

Believers of the law of attraction say that we are connected to each other biologically, to the world chemically, and to the universe atomically. Whatever our personal beliefs are, there is one thing that holds true, and that is we all live through the power of connection.

The problem now lies in the fact that most of us suppose that we should live apart from the rest. We may interact with other people on a daily basis, but at the end of the day, we choose to handle and face our problems all on our own.

Standing up for what we believe in and being accountable for the choices we make is an entirely good trait to have, but there’s a fine line between being courageous in standing up for ourselves and pushing people away simply because we don’t want to involve them in our personal issues.

Fact is, we need connections with other people, particularly with those who care for us. Even babies know this most basic need. Studies prove that babies who grow up with the power of touch become happier and healthier individuals.

As adults, we have to know the importance of human contact. A hug makes a world of difference in a person’s outlook in life. Hugs connect people beyond space and beyond time. With two arms wrapped around our body, friendships can deepen and become more meaningful.

Time and distance are immaterial when it comes to connection. Though hugs may not be as easy to do for some people, we must accept that touch is a part of our five senses.

We need to know how to communicate with others beyond language. After all, words only go so far. Physical communication is a way to send forth a message. With a mere embrace, we can tell people what we really think of them.

When stress is present in our lives, we need a way to relax. Whatever method you employ, there is no better cure for it than a hug.

So, if you find yourself in the crossroads of your life, seek out a friend or a family member. Ask for their comfort with the simple use of their two arms. Wrap them around your waist and immediately feel the connection with another kindred soul. Try it and see for yourself just how powerful and miraculous the simple gesture of a hug can be.

More on Self development at our website

8/21/2009

A Healthy Balance between Work and Family

A Healthy Balance between Work and Family

Do you think that risking your family’s happiness is worth the rewards you get from a job well done at work? It's very important that you balance these two aspects of your life. So how do you keep things running smoothly?

One of the major issues faced by working parents is that they are unable to properly balance their time. Women in particular feel that they are not able to spend quality time with their children because their jobs demand so much of their time. They need to fulfill their responsibilities at work before they can focus their attention to their family. Though work is an important part of life, the family should also be on top of the list of priorities.

Achieve balance by setting up time for both. If your family’s basic needs rest solely on your income, you can’t also risk your job. Leave work in the office and spend some quality time with your loved ones. Use your spare time wisely.

A picnic at the park or a night spent sitting on the couch to watch movies matter a lot. Your partner and your children are likely to be happy if they see you stick to the plan.

A mother in particular plays many roles. She needs to be a wife, friend, and confidant to the people in her house. Balancing career and family doesn't have to be viewed as an insurmountable feat, it just requires a bit of juggling. Assign tasks to the other family members as well and make a list of jobs to do around the house. By delegating chores, everyone will also know that their contributions help in making the family happy.

The demands of work and family put a lot of pressure on everyone. Seek help from other family members and let them learn the value of collaboration and unity. After all, to attain an ideal family life, each member must work at it.

More on Personal Development and Goal Setting here

8/14/2009

The Need to Follow Your Dreams

The Need to Follow Your Dreams

When we do what we truly enjoy, we live more in the present.

In today's culture, we are expected to study hard, work hard, and basically prioritize our career over everything else so that we can experience some semblance of happiness. Then society dictates that we need a respectable job to make a decent name for ourselves. We hear this message throughout our lives and it has made a dramatic impact on us all.

Many of us believe we are left with no choice. We can be likened to hamsters that simply go through the daily monotony with no questions asked. Then, we keep our true dreams locked inside for fear that some people may not believe us or laugh at our absurdity. What price do we pay for conformity? We lose a great part of ourselves simply because we want to fit this ideal mold that everyone thinks is proper.

The good news is, we no longer have to take the road that everyone uses. Many people have lost their jobs in the face of this recent economic downturn. Now is the chance to pursue our dreams, to answer our calling. This inner yearning comes from deep within the core of who we are as a person. Living this dream would bring us a genuine sense of well-being.

The secret to happiness is to become courageous and follow what we truly want. If we have the talent and the ability to sustain that dream, why not go for it? The key to enjoying life is to stand strong and to not let what others think influence our final decision. This is where our inner strength takes the wheel because we shouldn't let the views of others affect our search for fulfillment.

We also must bear in mind that following our dream doesn't mean that we will always enjoy every moment of it. There will be times that we will be required to do things that we do not love. However, in the end, we get what we want. Life in itself is a surprise, and we may find ourselves being thrown a few surprises along the way.

Following our dream does not always mean that we will experience an overall sense of satisfaction, but this is far better than ignoring our inner cravings and putting them off until they never actually happen. Our fantasies may sometimes be outside our comfort zone but we have to learn to cement our decision just to make ourselves truly happy with how our life has turned out.

We must realize the master plan that is in store for each one of us. Though it requires conscious effort, we get to spend the rest of our lives without regret. Why? Because this is what and how it was meant to be. The seeds have been sown deep in our hearts and minds, and it is our job to reap the benefits of what we planted.

By following what we truly desire, not only do we please ourselves, but we are also uplifting the spirit of the entire humanity!


Read more on Personal Development and Goal Setting Here

8/12/2009

Stop Being a People Pleaser

Stop Being a People Pleaser

Many people pleasers wrongly believe that nobody will like them if they stop doing things for others.

Some people just can’t help but go out of their way just to make other people happy.

People pleasers focus mostly on others and not what is inside their own hearts and minds. If you become this kind of person, you will eventually feel lonely and empty deep down. You may have earned friends, but deep down, you will always doubt their real intentions.

These people pleasers are otherwise known as adapters. A lot of these people who were willing to let others use them were most likely raised in an environment where their opinions were not valued. In order to earn their place, they mistakenly thought that they had to forget who they were just to bend to the will of others.

When you become this kind of person, two things can happen: either you will annoy other people because you try to please others too much, or worse, you will meet people who want your friendship just to get favors.

If you find yourself to be this kind of person at times, you need to get out of this unhealthy pattern. Know that it is very possible to change so that you can finally feel better about yourself and know what you truly deserve.

First off, you need to learn how to say NO. This very important word is what frees you from the chains you’ve created for your life. You may also feel guilty at times, but you’ll get to see who your real friends are in the very end.

Your thoughts and emotions are an important part of who you are. When you are unsure of yourself and try too hard to become the kind of person others want you to be, you’ll lose what matters most: your dignity and self-respect.

If someone stops liking you just because you’ve learned how to say no, then chances are they weren’t really your friends to begin with. A true friend is someone who likes you for your true self, someone who stands by you through thick and thin. Only when you become honest about whom you truly are will you have this kind of friendship.

Don’t allow yourself to become anyone’s puppet. Who is running your life?

The answer should be you!

Read More on Personal Development Here

8/09/2009

Gaining Self-Confidence

Gaining Self-Confidence

Some believe that in order to get everything you desire most in life, you need money. Though a lot of things can be acquired with the help of some cash, there are other ways for you to achieve your dreams. Money is not the means to an end, it is merely a reward when you have self-confidence.

If you have all the material possessions you want but don't believe in your abilities, these things will be useless and even worthless. Self confidence comes from knowing that you have the skills needed to achieve any goal you want. Even the most capable mind won't amount to much without self-confidence. It is what gives you the energy to move forward and pursue your dreams.

The good thing about self confidence is that it can get passed to the people you encounter. People who know they can do anything they want get the respect of everyone around them. They provide the inspiration for others to follow in their footsteps because it seems as if the universe itself decided to shine on their fate.

In today's competitive world, self confidence is a basis of survival. This energy makes you a better person. This is an upward spiral that only gets better by the moment!

One can never predict what happens in their future, and in order to overcome unexpected hurdles, you need to develop confidence in yourself. You should always see life as a chance to know what you need to work on so that you can become a better person. This takes a lot of practice. To become a more confident person, you need to keep practicing the following:

1. Stop worrying about the opinions of other people. Never allow others to make you feel like the lesser person. The opinion you should value the most is your own. Just keep your eye on your destination and hold your head up high as you see yourself slowly climbing up the ladder of success.

2. Learn from your mistakes and use life's lessons as your weapon. Take responsibility for the choices that you've made and never fail to strategize based on your experience.

3. Have faith. This keeps you determined to keep on and put all your energy into achieving what you want most from life simply because you know that it will happen if you just never give up.

We all have our own strengths and weaknesses. We can all excel by sticking to our principles. We also have to know that we can't always win in every game we play, but this shouldn't stop us from our mission. The secret to success is to be brave enough to face the unknown.

Trust in yourself and know that with self-confidence, you can overcome problems and go further than you've ever expected.

More on Personal development here

8/06/2009

Caring More About Yourself than How Others "See" You

Caring More About Yourself than How Others "See" You

Fact is, you just can't please all of the people all of the time. There are those that we get along with more than others. This doesn't mean that we have license to be nice to only some of the people we meet and to be rude to those we don't care for. Life is not a popularity contest. Making it to the top of the ladder means that certain critical decisions we make may not make everyone happy.

Successful people have to make tough choices. Leaders know that it's impossible to keep everyone happy and satisfied. We all live in a democratic society. Sometimes we have to do what's best for the majority, even if it means that the others won't like us for the decisions we make.

A "thick skin" is a prerequisite for success. If our conscience is clean and there's no doubt in our minds that we did the right thing, we have to continue on with life. Politicians and corporate leaders deal with this dilemma all the time. Consider the daily ordeal that these people have to endure and think about the great job they are doing.

The important thing is,
they donot allow their success to be dependent on the approval of others.

The more we put off our decision, the harder it is to achieve anything in life. As much as we want to be respected and liked by everyone we meet, people are just built differently from each other. Everyone has their own belief system that they pattern their life after. Belief systems are based on culture and past experience. The world is just too vast a place to expect that all people think alike.

To be successful, we need to earn the respect of people and at the same time not become dependent on their approval. It's a matter of internal confidence to forge our belief system in spite of what other's think. This requires risk taking and tough decision making. It is having the courage to persevere. It's all about being self-assured, knowing that we have everyone's best interest at heart, and believing in our cause, which allows us to push through with our true calling despite what others think.

When it comes to being liked and respected, it is imperative to remember that some will approve of us while others won't, and as long as we remain true to our values, we know that we are living our life according to how we truly want it.

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